lucid
by origami fish
Summary: he's gone. — natsu/lucy ; prequel of sorts to insomnia


hello hi.

yes, this is a prequel (of sorts) to **insomnia** – 'of sorts' because you can read it and enjoy it by itself and it doesn't really have a prequel feel to it. the 'prequel' label is more a formality than anything else. how this story came about: i received no feedback for my story **lullaby** for the longest time :( but a lone review from _zzMiya-chanzz_ appeared one day (thanks again!). she asked about the backstory and that had me wondering myself. more notes (that are super long) are at the end of the story. feel free to skip them.

oh, i also wanted to say thank-you to all the story favourites + followers!

please enjoy.

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 **l** _ **u**_ **c** _ **i**_ **d**

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 _The tree giant's roots run through the ground like a riptide, leaving an earthquake in its wake. It shoots out sinewy wooden limbs –_

' _Natsu!' She screams_

 _and he turns, eyes wide_

– _he's a beautiful inferno in battle, wind-swept salmon-coloured hair, engulfed from head to toe in golden flames –_

 _She shoves him out of the way,_

 _his fire burns her badly_

– ' _My fire is way hotter than just any old pathetic fire,' he used to say._

' _You're right,' she now thinks, 'it is'; she smiles –_

' _No! Lucy!'_

 _The roots grab one of her legs and she dangles, ragdoll-like, upside down –_

 _like a boa snake, the roots constrict, shattering bones_

 _(she screams)_

 _other roots pierce her stomach and chest_

 _and the fire still burns her._

 _The roots are sliced up and turn to frozen ash and she falls, weightless –_

 _arms around her, holding her, cradling her and she thinks, she's never been so cared for since her mother died._

–' _Natsu, let her go. We need to see the injury.' A swear word. 'We definitely need to stem the bleeding first.' Erza._

' _Here, use my shirt!' Gray. –_

 _She's being carried again, she realizes belatedly – Natsu._

– _a wetness drops on her cheek, then another –_

' _Luce! Stay with me, Luce! I'm gonna get help!'_

 _Black dots dance in her vision_

 _pain lances across her body_

– _it hurts so much and her eyes grow heavy as she slips into darkness, but just before, she hears him say:_

' _Hang in there Lucy . . . please . . .'_

 _._

 _._

 _I am not in my room,_ Lucy thinks.

It is the first thing she notices when she opens her eyes and they adjust to a different ceiling. There is a warm, earthy atmosphere to the space she's sleeping in, despite how wide and spacious it is.

Her whole body aches and it's a little difficult getting enough air into her lungs, but overall, she feels alive and well. It takes some effort to maneuver herself into a sitting position with her pillow to support her back, but she manages, biting hard on her lips at the vibrating pain of her leg when she jostles it too much. It ebbs away slowly, leaving behind a dull aches like how the rest of her body feels.

She takes a sip of water from the paper cup that was waiting on the little table to her right. She feels grateful that the cup is made of paper rather than glass because even now, it is almost too heavy for her.

Taped to the blanket is a plain envelope with no name on it. She rolls her eyes and pulls the envelope from its place. It has Natsu written all over it because who else would tape an envelope to a blanket when a perfectly good table sat to the side of the bed, just waiting to be used?

In the envelope, she finds a long note written on crisp paper that smell of fire and autumn and leaves. It scares her, but she steadies her heart, takes a breath and reads.

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 _Hey there Luigi Lushi Luce Luce Lucy:_

 _Ok so I really suck at writing letters since that's usually your kind of thing, what with you writing to your mom, plus the not-so-secret secret novel (I am all-knowing like that)._

 _(. . . ok so maybe I was looking for matches once to make a meal for myself and saw by accident. Please don't kill me.)_

 _Anyway, so I suck at this and I'm sorry you have to read this and the only reason why this is even here is cause I didn't want to leave without explaining myself a bit. And face-to-face was definitely a no-go cause you'd never let me walk off like that._

 _Crap I was going to 'break the news' in a more 'tactful manner.' See? Told you I sucked at this. Happy says I'm hopeless and shouldn't bother trying to rewrite that part. We'd be here all night if I did. Damn exceed is too snippy._

 _Ok. So. We're leaving. Me and Happy. Are leaving. But before you go all emotional and loud like you always do, I'd like to make it clear that we'll be back. Yes, that's right._

 _I will be back._

 _We're going because . . . where do I start?_

…

…

…

 _You were hurt, Lucy. Badly. Like almost dead. And that . . that scared me so so much. More than I'd like to admit. Trying to hold you without hurting you, running for help with you in my arms, watching as your life bled away. I know what you're thinking right now: 'but I'm not dead; I'm fine now – better than fine.' You were so close . . . Porlyusica said a minute later and you'd be a goner. And it was while I watched you heal and breathe that I realized to prevent this from happening again, I would have to get stronger. Train harder. To protect you. No distractions. Kind of like an adventure when we used to look for Igneel or complete missions but more serious._

 _So that's about it. Me and Happy are most probably already off by the time you read this. To an undisclosed place. Undisclosed to even us because when the time comes, we will just roll a dice to pick a direction and go from there. We will be back in about 3 months – one season – when summer arrives._

…

 _Get it? Summer arrives and I return cause my name means summer. Hahahahaha. Sorry. I thought it was pretty funny. Happy says you wouldn't appreciate this kind of humour._

 _I can't send you letters where I'm going cause you're too smart and I'm willing to bet between you and Erza and Gray (not so much Gray since his brain's frozen with all that ice), anyway, between you three, I bet you guys will most likely track me down before 3 days are up, much less 3 months._

 _I don't want to be sappy but I'll miss you guys and Fairy Tail a lot. (Happy says he'll miss the lot of you too.) And like those sappy romance novels you always go on about say, we can meet in our dreams . . . and in them, you can make me fire chicken and chocolate chip pancakes and bacon and of course, fish cakes for Happy. So I'll dream of you and you make sure you dream of me, ok? (Yesterday Gray said that nobody in their right mind would dream of me. Hmph, stupid ice prick.) But anyway, 3 months isn't that long. Comes and goes with a dragon's breath. That's the saying, right? Or did I just make it up? Ah, who cares? It sounds cool. I'm all fired up now! Catch ya later!_

 _\- Natsu_

 _p.s. I hope you don't mind that I stole your can-opener cause I couldn't find mine._

 _p.p.s. I also took your box of cookies for the road. (Happy borrowed the canned salmon.)_

 _p.p.p.s. Sorry about your rent. I know you can manage. I believe in you._

 _p.p.p.p.s. Hmm this post-scripts thing is getting a bit long. I swear this is the last one._

 _p.p.p.p.p.s. no this is the last one._

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.s. no this one is._

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. last._

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. last._

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. last_

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. last_

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. last_

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. last_

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. . . ._

 _p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s. ok, really_ really _this is. the last. one. Take care, Lucy. We'll be seeing each other again in no time._

 _._

By the end of the letter, Lucy feels wetness on her cheeks. He's so silly, so stupid, she thinks. She got hurt, yes, but didn't that mean she's the one who should've went off to train? So she wouldn't be a hindrance anymore? In what strange, alternate universe did he live in for him to think that she got hurt because he wasn't good enough? He's perfect in her eyes even if the letters he wrote needed work . . . and he really should close his mouth when he eats . . . and when on Earthland will he learn the word 'privacy'?!

(Entering her apartment through the window, rifling through stuff that isn't his, 'borrowing' her stuff without asking . . . the list goes on.)

 _But maybe,_ Lucy thinks, _you like all that._

 _Oh hush,_ she thinks back to herself.

She looks down at her long, slender fingers resting on top of the crinkly sky-blue sheets that cover her lap. One hand is wrapped neatly with bandages.

She sees long green stalks in an ice vase filled to the brim with water, and higher up, tulips the colour of soft coral – _like his salmon hair_ – to her right side on the little table. She reaches over and with her uninjured hand, touches the soft petal with her thumb and index finger. The fragrant smell in the room is faint but pleasant, no doubt a feminine touch. This is her favourite gift so far because it is like her team is with her even though one had to go.

She takes a single flower, slips back under her sheets and plays with it, twirling and cupping it between her fingers, with the ceiling as the backdrop. She falls asleep gradually with the stem in her hands and the blushing petals near her nose.

One line still stays on her half-conscious mind.

' _Dream of me, ok?'_

She wishes he didn't leave so she can say in reply, _'Don't you know? I already do.'_

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Notes

\- If it wasn't clear, the gift is Lucy's favourite (compared to other things she received in the past) because the whole team (Erza, Gray, Natsu) worked together to come up with the gift. More obvious is the colour selection (Natsu) and the ice vase that Gray made to hold the tulips. Less obvious is that it was Erza who thought it would be nice to wake up to the sight and smell of flowers, which Lucy recognizes when she says 'a feminine touch.' Also, pink tulips can mean good wishes and represent happiness & care. Honestly, I kind of want to write the scene of them picking a present for Lucy after typing this explanation up.

\- Plural is dice, singular is die; in the letter Natsu uses it incorrectly. It's a common grammatical error so I figured it'd be stranger if he used it right. So yes, Natsu is wrong XD

\- You can interpret the title however you like. I was thinking along the lines of lucid dreaming (and the definition of the word lucid itself) since all the titles in this mini 'series' or 'arc' had something to do with sleep and dreams. **insomnia** because, well, Lucy can't sleep. **lullaby** because Natsu is back and his presence is what helps her sleep again, kind of like what a lullaby is used for. And **lucid** because . . .

\- In **lullaby** I asked if anyone spotted the pun. Aside from the lack of reviews ;-; nobody noticed so I explained it in here. In the letter, Natsu uses the same pun. 'Natsu' means 'summer' in Japanese. That's why he says he'll return when summer does because he _is_ summer (well, in name). In the same way, there lies a pun in **lullaby** , second paragraph, when Lucy says 'five summer-less years.' On the surface, it appears she is saying her five years were cold and sad and dark without him (like the years skipped over the summer season). But because Natsu means summer, it quite literally also means five years without him (since Natsu = summer). Interestingly enough, people also often use some number of 'summers' as a means to say how old they are or how many years have passed.

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ahh i apologize for the possibly-longer-than-the-story notes. i just had a lot to say. i also plan to post a collection of one-shots related to this 'series'. look out for it!

\- ' _gami fish_


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